Doc Ruger’s Zombie Glossary
Below, you will find the most top secret, unknown, just found Zombie Glossary. Tell no one about what you read here. This can bring Zombies to your home in the middle of the night. If the Zombies find that you have access to the Zombie Glossary, they will eat you, your family, your friends, the will first kill you slowly, then eat you.
This Zombie Glossary was just found last week. Of course with Zombies, time is eternal, so in Zombie time, last week is a week ago from when you are reading this right now.
Tell no one that you have found this Zombie Glossary, PLEASE, WE BEG OF YOU. We only want what is best for you, your friends, your family, the people at your job, your school. They will eat and distroy all that you know.
This is the
Auto Cannibalism – Occasionally a White Zombie will eat its own flesh if other food sources are not available. Eventually it will undergo cardiac arrest from this process and turn into an Asystole Zombie. Asystole zombies do not eat their own flesh.
Black Zombie – (aka Late Stage Zombie, biter) May look much like a Grey Zombie but has areas of black necrotic decay. Moves slowly. Most Black Zombies make no sounds (aphonia) but some may drone. Feels no pain. Bites deep but slowly. They have extremely high viral loads in their salarva.
Beating Heart Zombies – Reanimation occurs after death with restoration of cardiac function. All organ systems still function except for the cerebral cortex of the brain which may retain variable cognitive functions.
BFF Pact – The final act of true friendship. A dual agreement to headshot a trusted friend if zombification occurs. Typically a person has only one BFF Pact. Any other arrangement is just an agreement. If there is a question who pulls the trigger, a BFF Pact always take priority over an agreement.
Biter – (slang) A Grey or Black Zombie. Bites but does not swallow.
Blow Hole – A hole made in the skin of a Puffer Zombie that releases putrefied tissue liquid and gas under pressure. Spray back can occur over a distance of several meters.
Cracking Craniums – (slang) Killing zombies. Ex.- “Mom, sorry I’m late for dinner. I was out cracking craniums at the ball field.”
Chelonaphobia – The fear of turtles. All zombies have a fear of turtles, especially turtle skulls.
Chewscrew – (slang) a deep bite from a zombie that goes into muscle.
Crawlers – A zombie that can no longer walk. Moves itself by crawling on the ground. Most are or soon to be Asystole Zombies.
Cluster – A group of zombies in a small confined area. Differs from a horde in that a horde is formed from being attracted to a Thinker (or Thinkers) whereas a cluster is just a random collection of zombies in a defined area. Upon discovery, clusters rapidly turn into hordes. Ex.- “I went in the store and walked right into a cluster. Fortunately I was able to outrun the horde.”
Dazefaze – A period of about five seconds when a zombie comes out of a zorpor and is disoriented. May blink, groan, and rapidly flail the arms.
Decapitation – The separation of the head from the body. After head shots, decapitation ranks as the second most efficient way to kill a zombie. Zombie Hunters that are experts in the art of decapitation are referred to as master headsmen.
Decay rate – Rate at which an Asystole Zombie decays. It is dependent on temperature, parasites, humidity, and activity. Decay rates are 10-fold if zombies are underwater.
Donner Attack – (aka Donnering) This is when several White Zombies attack another White Zombie to feed. Grey and Black Zombies do not do Donner attacks. Ex.- “We can escape now while they are Donnering”.
Grey Zombie – (aka, Intermediate Stage Zombie; Biter). An early Asystole Zombie that has a grey/blue skin color. Moves slower than a white zombie. It will have signs of decay. They are incapable of speech but can scream, moan, and drone. May or may not feel pain. Blue zombies do not each flesh, but will attack and bite trying to acquire a scrab. Has a moderate viral load in the salarva. Grey Zombies over a period of weeks to months turn into Black Zombies.
Grab zone – The perimeter around you that is one zombie arms length away. Ex.- “I had to headshot him quick. He just entered my grab zone.”
Girlfriends – A pair of large caliber pistols used for killing zombies. Sometimes referred to as boyfriends if the zombie hunter is female or gay. Ex.- “Stan keeps both of his girlfriends under his pillow when he sleeps.”
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We told you! If they find out, they will find you, catch you, hold you down and eat your parts while you are alive and watch them. It is very painful and unpleasant. Turn off your iPhone, or Samsung, or iPad if they come for you and you are reading the Zombie Glossary, then that is it for you.
Gnawjob – (slang) Any bite from a zombie on the genitalia that breaks the skin.
Good Zombie – (slang) A zombie that is redead.
Head shot (v) – A lethal attack to the head of a zombie. Typically refers to a gunshot, but technically any lethal blow to the head of a zombie is a headshot.
HHV-6Z – Human herpes virus variant 6Z. One of three HHV viruses. The same as ZA virus or zombiactivation virus.
Hot Sauce – An excellent zombie repellent. Homemade is best, but it requires much study and preparation time to be most effective. Not to be confused with barbeque sauce, which has no repellent activity.
Immunity – Is a biological term that describes a state of having sufficient biological defenses to avoid disease or biological invasion. There are two types of immunity associated with the ZA-Virus: “Innate immunity” a natural resistance with which a person was born. Zombie Boy is a good example of this type of immunity. Less than one percent of the population has this immunity. The other type of immunity is “adaptive immunity”. This immunity occurs following survival after contact with a disease causing agent. Doc Ruger has a great deal of adaptive immunity through repeated bites and the transplant of a zombie eye.
Kerm the Killer -(1904 – 1984) Pioneer zombie hunter. Father of Pappy 5x and grandfather of Doc Ruger. Survived the zombie raw divide attacks of the 1930s. Based on the residual fallout of these attacks, he predicted the necropocalypse would occur within three decades after the turn of the century. Was found dead in his bedroom, with a bloody wrench in his hand, and seven redead zombies scattered on the floor about him. A member of the Zombie Hunters Hall of Fame.
Master Headsman – A title given to a zombie hunter that has achieved a minimum of 100 clean decapitations, a series of five decapitations in a row without other kills separating them, and three free-hand decapitations (a decapitation where the blade was thrown from the hand.
Nanotubular network – (aka Nanotubular matrix) A matrix of microscopic tubules that is formed by the virus in the body after infection. This network perseveres autonomic brain function upon death and can sometimes cardiovert a stopped heart after cardiac arrest. In Asystole Zombies, it supplies nutrients via controlled autolysis of the body’s non-functioning organs to provide energy and nutrients for other essential functions.
Necromancer – (aka Necromantician) One who creates (zombie primes) and purportedly controls zombies. (They certainly create zombies, but there is no evidence that they control them once released into society). Necromancers feed on and distribute flesh, but can only take flesh provided by zombies (tollants or putriphiles). The covenant protects necromancers from attacks by zombie hunters. Even though Necromancers repeatedly violate the covenant, zombie hunters have never broken the covenant. Exile is currently the only was to stop a Necromancer from producing zombies.
Necromones (aka ZA Pheromone) – Pheromones secreted by nanotubules through the skin of zombies. Prevents zombies from wasting energy on biting other zombies. Made largely of oleic and linoleic acids. Activity can range from a few feet to hundreds of yards depending on concentration, wind direction, and humidity. The absence of necromones is an indication for a zombie to bite. Sometimes called Zoff (slang).
Necropolis – (aka zombie city) The city that produces zombie primes. A gathering place for Necromancers.
Nibble – A superficial bite from a zombie that doesn’t’t penetrate completely through the dermis.
Nonrelavants – A “Thinker” that begs Necromancers for flesh. All nonrelavants are flesh eaters. Nonrelavants are the only “Thinkers” that are not afraid of Tollants and are fine with zombies even though they end up damaging these “Thinkers” the most.
Occuloextender – Developed for use with transplanted zombie eyes. Occuloextenders allow the transplanted eye to detect the infected before overt symptoms express. They are very useful for identifying minions as well. Cadaver zombie vision results in daily pain for the recipient, but wearing an occuloextender helps relieve much of the discomfort. Zombie eyes are very light sensitive, working best in dark rooms. Transplant recipients frequently wear an eye patch when outside or in bright lights. Doc Ruger has a transplanted zombie eye and frequently can be seen wearing an occuloextender.
Offal trail – A trail of small pieces of entrails that can be used to track a zombie. Late stage Asystole Zombies frequently leave small offal trails. Beating heart zombies do not leave offal trails. Offal trails can ordinarily be followed by scent (Putrix) alone. Ex. “Follow the offal trail, follow the offal trail, follow the, follow the, follow the, follow the, follow the offal trail.” (Doc Lucky extends his apologies to “Follow The Yellow Brick Road.”)
Oral web – A filamentous web made up of millions of nanotubules which forms in the mouth of a asystole zombie when it has taken a scrab. The nanotubules break down the tissue and transport nutrients through it’s matrix for energy systems in the zombie.
Pappy 5x – A character in the zombie cause documentary that is a zombie hunter and senior citizen. A member of the Zombie Hunters Hall of Fame. Legendary in the zombie hunting world his pithy quotes (pappyisms) can be found on T-shirts, bumper stickers and other paraphernalia. He is the son of famed pioneer zombie hunter Kerm the Killer, and is the father to Doc Ruger and grandfather to ZB, Silent Blade and Headshot. It is sometimes not clear whether Pappy 5x is a memory or is just under appreciated. Old school zombie hunters are occasionally called Pappy 5xers (slang).See zombie cause characters
Did you remember not to tell anyone of what you are reading here. We told you. They may not have found you yet, but EVERYONE that has read the Zombie Glossary has been bitten, or not so bad, KILLED. They say it is better to be killed than bitten and live forever as a Zombie.
PETZ – Acronym for a worldwide organization People For the Ethical Treatment of Zombies. The organization believes The Covenant needs changing and zombies need protection, not Thinkers. They heavily align with Necromancers to encourage creation of more zombies denying the possibility of an necropocalypse.
Puffer – A zombie that did not have a successful purification phase. Putrefaction begins in about five days with subsequent swelling from trapped gases. Zombie undergoes extreme swelling until pressure is released through a blow hole.
Pseudothinker – A type of high functioning White Zombie that does not understand he or she is undead and will not accept the fact it is in the state of undeadness.
Pseudozombification – Changes which occur after a bite in an individual with immunity to the ZA-virus. Reaction occurs much faster than the appearance of symptoms in actual zombification. The changes may range from none to darkening of the skin with associated skin sloughing. Other symptoms of zombification do not occur.
Putrescine – A gas emitted from decomposing flesh. Gives a characteristic dead body smell to asystole zombies. When you shoot or cut a zombie you release a great deal of putrescine in the air, which makes most people want to hurl.
Putriphile – A subtype of zombie that feeds on dead human flesh. If a human dies and does not undergo zombification then the body is at risk of being consumed by a putriphile. A putriphile never consumes the entire body, but takes so much flesh that the cadaver is typically unrecognizable to the family. Zombie hunters came very close to eliminating all putriphiles, but necromancers have been working hard to create more in recent years.
Putrix – The odor of Asystole Zombies. Beating heart zombies do not have putrix, but they can have very bad body odor. Putrix is not related to necromones, which can only be detected by zombies. The smell is caused by the release of Putrescine and Cadaverine from breakdown of amino acids in tissue.
Relavant – A “Thinker” who bargains necromancers of their faction for support. Some will eat flesh provided by necromancers. Once they acquire a taste for flesh, they constantly try to acquire more. Believes the Terminal Z Point will not occur if their faction of necromancers is in power.
RFR – An acronym for” Run, Fu**ing Run.” Ex- “Holy S**t! There must be a thousand of them! RFR! RFR!” Sounds like “Arf” when being shouted in tense situations. Most likely what dogs are telling us when they see a zombie.
Rolling Chomper – A decapitated head of a zombie that remains living for a few days, if the nanotubular network is not destroyed during the decapitation. The head can bite, but can only move by rolling. They are uncommon and great for a school show-and-tell.
Runners – These are typically relavants that avoid getting flesh taken by zombies in a very scheming, conniving way. These tend to be deceptive individuals that look out for themselves only. If a runner is caught by a zombie they are made to suffer greatly with more flesh being ripped from them than a usual attack. Zombie Hunters, even though they hate zombies and flesh taking, look down upon runners as they all tend to be devious.
Salarva – Saliva infected with the Zombie animation virus
Scoptophobia – The fear of being looked at or stared at. Affected Individuals cover their faces with their hands or run from the room when others enter. Forty percent of individuals infected with the ZA virus will experience this phobia during the viral incubation period. Women are more affected by this condition than men.
Scrab – A chunk of human flesh held in an Asystole Zombie’s mouth. A fine filamentous plexus of nanotubules “oral web” infiltrates the tissue causes lysis of the tissues, which supplies nutrients to the muscles through the nanotubular network. Salarva has increased amounts of proteases to aid this process. Asystole Zombies cannot swallow or digest food otherwise. Asystole Zombies can slow auto digestion of the corpse by acquiring scrabs. A scrab looks like a piece of meat encased in thousands of brown/white spider web like filaments..
Screaming Chum – See also chum. Happens when novice zombie hunters attract their first horde and realize they are chum. Screaming Chum attracts zombies faster than chum.
Scratch and go – Being scratched or otherwise injured by a zombie without being bitten.
Shadow squeezers – (slang) Zombies standing in the shade or dark. Zombies don’t like bright light, but can be attracted from the shadows by zombie calls, loud noises, vibrations etc.. Ex.- “George, I saw a couple of shadow squeezers in the barn.”
Smurf test – Flashing a blue object in the face of a zombie causing it to recoil. Zombies are temporarily repulsed by a flash of the color blue. The reaction is very brief. Ex.1- “I thought I had a Thinker, but he failed the smurf test.” Ex.2 -“He was in the grab zone, so I smurf tested him and got away”
Squad Leader – Zombie hunters tend to be extremely individualized, but some talented individuals can convince them to form groups to better serve the zombie cause. A squad leader is anyone that can get more than one zombie hunter fighting in concert together.
Terminal Z point – The point that the zombie population has reached such a number that the necropocalypse starts and society breaks down.”
The Covenant – a document over 200 years old forged to protect Thinkers from zombies. Recently Necromancers have been ignoring the covenant bringing everyone closer to an apocalypse that the document was to prevent.
The Immune – A critically acclaimed sci-fi novel that is required reading for every serious zombie hunter. Doc Ruger frequently quotes from the book. Includes no zombies in the storyline, but the message is important for all zombie hunters. Read it; you will be glad you did.
The Shift – The point when the naturally occurring ZA-n virus was bio engineered into much the more virulent ZA virus. Retrospective studies show The Shift seems to have occurred in the mid nineteen sixties.
Tollants – A beating heart zombie which is not only monstrous and difficult to kill, but has a rapacious appetite eating far more than needed for energy. If not killed by zombie hunters, Tollants can have incredibly long life spans compared to other zombies. Tollants when filled to capacity migrate back to zombie city and regurgitate flesh for the Necromancers to feed on and distribute.
Turtle – A slow-moving reptile (family Testudinidae), enclosed in hard or leathery domed shell into which it can retract its head and legs. All zombies have Chelonaphobia (fear of turtles). This is a biological aberration of unknown reason (turtle skulls are particularly offensive to them). Holding a turtle is not one hundred percent effective in preventing zombie attacks, but is more effective that a smurf test.
Undead – A zombie. (In fantasy,” undead” can also mean a skeleton, ghost, vampire, mummy etc.. Please keep in mind only zombies are real). A corpse that has been reanimated by the ZA virus.
Voodoo Zombie – Mythical zombie from Haiti produced by Coup Poudre (magical powders) brought to life by a Bokor (Voodoo priest). These zombies are folklore and have no scientific basis. (There is one hypothesis regarding Voodoo Zombies that still needs to be investigated. The zombie cucumber ,Datura stramonium, is a plant with psychoactive components that can cause hallucinations, stupor, and death. Found commonly in Haiti, it may also be a silent carrier of a natural occurring ZA-n virus of low virulence. Although most authorities consider the current ZA virus to be a bio engineered virus. Some believe the virus genome which was altered to create the ZA virus came from the zombie cucumber.)
Weaponized Peacock – (slang) Being a hot dog or show off while killing zombies. Ex.- “Look at Bob being a weaponized peacock in that horde.”
White Zombie – (aka Blanc Zombie, Beating Heart Zombie, Early Stage Zombie, Feeder) A very pale zombie that is typically a beating heart zombie. Has some higher brain function, which usually deteriorates with time. For the first few hours it may not even realize it’s undead. Has a low viral load in its salarva. White zombies are more likely to eat flesh (brains and intestines preferred) than attacking and biting.
ZA virus – aka zombie animation virus. A deadly virus spread by the bites of zombies. Believed to have been bio engineered in the 1960s from the naturally occurring ZA-n virus. If the infection is lethal, the virus reanimates the corpse shortly after death. A DNA virus, it is of the human herpesvirus 6 family sometimes known as variant HHV-6Z. The host range for this virus is limited to humans. Like other HHV-6 viruses it is transmitted largely by saliva (salarva).
Zombie – (aka undead) A dead human being that has been reanimated by the Zombie Animation Virus (ZA virus)
Zombie Apocalypse – Breakdown of society from the rise of too many zombies. Some authorities feel we are currently on the cusp of the necropocalypse.
Zombie Boy – (aka Zombie Bait, ZB) A tween character in the zombie cause documentary. He does not kill zombies, but carries hot sauce to repel them. ZB has a high degree of immunity to the ZA virus. See zombie cause characters
Zombie Call – A scream. Ex.- “Everyone calm down. I don’t want to hear any zombie calls.”
Zombie Cucumber– Datura stramonium is a plant with psychoactive components that can cause hallucinations, stupor, and death. Used in creating “Voodoo Zombies.” The plant grows in the wild in Haiti and similar species grow naturally in Africa as well. Zombologists believe it it the natural source of the ZA-n virus of low virulence.
Zombie Huggers – Folks that believe zombies are not evil just misunderstood. They believe that the world is better off having zombies and they are more pure and natural than Thinkers (excluding themselves). Most are members of PETZ .
Zombie Hunters – Thinkers that want liberty from zombies and Necromancers. Understand the need to destroy zombies in keeping with the articles of the Covenant. Understands the concept of the terminal Z point and tries to warn others of it’s danger while preparing for it.
Zombie Hunters Hall of Fame – A facility to be opened in the near future in Orlando, FL for the study of the history of zombie hunting in the United States and beyond, the display of zombie hunting artifacts and exhibits, will honor the persons who have excelled in killing, decapitating, and otherwise serving the cause. Elections commenced in 1936 for the selection of worthy individuals to be honored by induction to the Hall of Fame, though the first induction ceremonies were not held until 1945. Through the elections for 2011, a total of 295 individuals have been elected, including 265 zombie hunters, 21 squad leaders, 7 necromancers, and 24 pioneers . Each is listed along with his primary role; that is, the situation or role in which the zombie hunter made his greatest contribution to the zombie cause.
Zombie Queens – These are not zombies, but look like fast moving White Zombies. They seem to have the ability to ignore zombies as long as zombies ignore them, but hordes will attack individual zombie queens given the chance. Zombie queens are always in motion and can be located near minivans. Something instinctive in the creation of each zombie makes it avoid zombie queens. Necromancers fear zombie queens because they can cause a necromancer to be exiled. A zombie queen can use a high pitched scream to disrupt the nanotubular matrix in the skull cavity of a zombie, sometimes even causing the cranium to explode. Some zombie hunters have the ability to summon a zombie queen for aid in desperate situations.
Zombie Savane – A zombie that has been returned to the living. It is theoretically possible to turn a White Zombie that has retained the majority of its higher functions back to the living if the ZA virus is eliminated with the nanotubular network.
Zombie Tollant – The most feared of all zombies. See Tollant.
Zombification – The process of turning into a zombie.
Zorpor – A state of torpor in a zombie. Only occurs in Asystole Zombies. May last for hours or days if a zombie enters an area that is relatively parasite-free.
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